Pour THIS In Your Tumblr

Anytime someone on TV or in a movie or play says “everbody’s dead” you know they’re lying because that person talking is alive.

Except for ghosts.

I envision a time, in the far future…

…when we are living in space and on far-away worlds, so many worlds it would be difficult for one to know them all.

And then I think about here and now. There are so many nations on this planet, places with names some of us have never heard of, will never travel to, nor meet people from. [Is that even correct grammar? Fuckit, it’s late.] Nations of which some we only see represented every few years in a parade at the Olympics.

And then I think again of the far future… when students learn about both the nations of Earth, the worlds we inhabit, and possibly the nations on THOSE worlds. My mind is blown, and also I’m glad I don’t have to learn the names of those places because I suck at geography.

After-afterthought

I don’t know how many extra family members they allow in the delivery room, but perhaps more people would like to get in on experiencing the pain (adults only, obvies) and daisy-chain hands to mouths, like the “telephone” game but with biting. Then you’ll have all these folks biting the shit out of other folks’ hands, grunting and screaming in sequence and leaving wounds on each other which heal into scars. It’ll be a shared family experience. Might even become a fad, who knows.

Maybe the line could extend OUT of the delivery room, down the hall, or even outside the building. Maybe the Royal Family could do this when Kate Middleton gives birth in a few months and the whole of England can share in her pain!

Or maybe this is a really dumb idea.

Afterthoughts

2 things about my previous post:

• the hospital/clinic/whatever would have to treat the hand injury following the birth, which may or may not cost less than getting a commemorative tattoo

• whoever is getting bitten should have a high fucking pain tolerance and be tough enough to:
A) not scream (b/c then the docs/nurses/techs will have to deal with possibly 2 screaming adults), and
B) not pass out (though I’m sure the baby daddies pass out all the time anyway, which leaves the mommy hanging)

• it could be a male or a female life partner, to be all PC and shit

I’ve often thought about how a man could share in the pain of the mother of his child during delivery, and came up with this:

She gets to bite down on his hand (not fingers, they’d be severed for sure).

This will definitely break the skin, possibly fracture a metacarpal and likely leave a scar, but the scar would be a cool story, no? And the man can have scars on both hands (space is limited to maybe 4 kids) to keep and commemorate the birth of each child forever.

Way better than a tattoo, I think. (And free too!)

As daylight slowly creeps, my unfulfilled late-night craving for sweets gradually morphs into a craving for drive-thru breakfast.

Now what.

"absurd goblin person" still makes me laugh- best insult ever @shiraselko

"absurd goblin person" still makes me laugh- best insult ever @shiraselko

Poem of the Day

Defence of Fort M’Henry
by Francis Scott Key

O! say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watch’d, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there —
O! say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream —
‘Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havock of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash’d out their foul foot-steps’ pollution,
No refuge could save the hireling and slave,
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave;
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever when freemen shall stand
Between their lov’d home, and the war’s desolation,
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the heav’n-rescued land
Praise the power that hath made and preserv’d us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto — “In God is our trust!”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

Fuckit, you know what?

One of these days I’m gonna buy a non-electric typewriter and start corresponding with summa you internet folkses.

I got too much damn time on my hands.

Just started playing this categorical word game called #RedHerring and I’m addicted.

Just started playing this categorical word game called #RedHerring and I’m addicted.